Image: Ecohen (Flickr)

Single mothers of young children often have to initiate their own Mother’s Day celebration. If so, don’t feel guilty about taking some time to yourself for some pampering, fun or quality time with your kids to reflect about what being a mother means to you. Here are some ways that single moms like you can honor their supermom selves and celebrate Mother’s Day.

Time to Yourself

Being a mother is hard work. Sometimes you just need to get away. While it may seem ironic to want to get away from your kids on a day that honors your commitment to motherhood, it is not a bad idea. Remember, this is your day. Let a friend or grandparent take the kids while you take a few hours for yourself to have a pedicure, shop or go for a vigorous hike or another workout you enjoy. You may be surprised at how fast you can recharge your mom batteries with just a day – or even half a day – to yourself.

Time with Friends or Other Moms

If you need some girl time, ditching the kids to spend time with your adult friends may be just the thing for a Mother’s Day celebration, especially if your friends are also moms. Get someone to watch your children and join your fellow baby mamas out for brunch, a chick flick and maybe even some afternoon cocktails. It is important to reconnect with the friends that you had before you had kids. No one can lend an ear or make you laugh like a good girlfriend.

Time with Your Mom

Why not spend the day with your own mom, with or without the kids? If you get someone to watch the little ones, you can do all the things grown-up moms and daughters like to do, such as shopping and lunch, shopping and snacks or shopping and eating chocolate. If your mom doesn’t get to see her grand kids that often, you can include them on a Mother’s Day outing. Go to a park and pack a picnic. Let the kids wear themselves out on the playground while you and your mom sip mimosas and gossip. Or, go someplace cool, such as a museum exhibit or an aquarium.

Time with Your Kids

They are the reason you are being celebrated on this day. If you are like many busy working single mothers, you may not feel like you have enough quality time with your kids. Sure, you are constantly harping on them to do their homework, pick up their room and help with the dishes, but don’t forget that being a mom can actually be fun. Take some time to actually enjoy your kids by doing something fun together.

April Lentini writes for Apartment Guide in San Jose.

Image: dospaz (Flickr)

1. Plan some one-on-one time with your mother-in-law.

Sure, you are married to her son and she sees you (with the rest of the family) at holidays. But how well do you actually know each other? If you found this article by typing “mother-in-law” along with “break the ice” in a search engine, chances are you need help reaching out. If you live in the same town, why not initiate some time together – even if it is only for lunch or running some errands one weekend while your husband stays home or is out of town? Chances are, she will appreciate the simple suggestion: “Hey, want to do lunch on Saturday?”

2. Never mistake your mother-in-law’s taste with that of your own mother.

Never expect your mother-in-law to be similar to your own mom. Keep in mind that the mother/daughter things that you enjoy doing with your own mom may not necessarily work with your spouse’s mom. A day of shopping with lunch and a pedicure may, in your opinion, sound like the perfect recipe for bonding, but not if your mother-in-law hates that stuff.

3. Find out what your mother-in-law likes to do.

Ask your husband or just ask her yourself. If going to a Nascar race or football game is her idea of a fun time, score some tickets and surprise her for a day of sport watching. Don’t like sports? Well, just suck it up. This is about making an effort to bond with your mother-in-law, after all. Besides, you may be surprised that by opening yourself up to new experiences, you actually have a good time.

4. Correspond with her via email.

If your mother-in-law is really a tough nut to crack, you may want to begin softening your relationship by email correspondence. Sometimes email can be an easy way to open up discussion for those that have a tough time communicating. You have time to carefully reflect on your dialog rather than worrying about what will blurt out of your mouth (or hers) in person. Email her just to say hello, or use email to bring up more touchy subjects that require a certain degree of diplomacy.

5. Call her just to say hello.

Pick up the phone once a week and call just to say hello. Tell her what you and your hubby have been up to and ask her if she feels better from that cold she had last week. You can keep the conversation brief and unless she really hates you, she will undoubtedly appreciate your concern and sentiment.

6. Don’t tell her too much.

So, now that you have a dialog going, that does not mean that you have to tell her everything. In fact, keep sensitive details to yourself. She does not want to hear about your financial business, fights with her son or other personal affairs. If you need someone to lend an ear, save your baggage (if you must) for your closest girlfriends. Meanwhile, keep it positive with your mother-in-law. On the contrary, if you are particularly proud of your husband, be sure to tell her how great he is – even if she already knows.

7. Cook for her.

If your mother-in-law is like most women, the way to her heart is a good meal. Invite her over for brunch one day or cook her dinner. This takes the pressure off of eating out and wondering who pays. Plus, it’s a chance to show off your cooking skills – if you have any. If you are not the best cook, keep it simple or order in. The point is, she is invited over to your house for dinner.

8. Give her time alone with her son.

Sometimes mother-in-laws who are hard to warm up to are jealous of the time you are spending with their son. If your husband is a momma’s boy and you suspect that she may be jealous of the time you are spending together, give them some time alone. Mom may want some time to discuss important family issues with your husband or just want to enjoy a day of golf with their son like they used to do before you were in the picture.

9. Ask for help.

No daughter-in-law is perfect so do not try to pretend to be. The good news is most moms like to feel useful and help. This goes double for retired mother-in-laws. If she enjoys sewing, ask her if she wouldn’t mind making you something if you provide the materials. Of course if you have kids, she will most likely be happy to babysit occasionally.

10. Kill her with kindness.

If all else fails and you are really dealing with an ice-queen mother-in-law, just kill her with kindness. You know you can’t change people, but you can at least control how you deal with them. Simply don’t expect much from her in return. You can live easy knowing that you have done everything in your power to reach out and bond with her. Just be nice and deal with her in the nicest way you know how.

April Lenini writes for apartmenguide in Austin.

While the name of this television town is completely fictional, there are real towns where cougars live. In case you were wondering, here is a list of the top five cougar towns in the United States.

1. Austin, Texas

About Austin: As a college town, Austin is considered a party town with a hip live music scene. It embraces alternative culture, and while the rest of the state shares conservative political views, Austin is known for offering a more liberal lifestyle. Though mostly artsy and offbeat, upscale designer stores can be found in the 2nd Street District, which is where you will most likely run into the local cougars.

Why Austin is a Cougar Town: Austin also has more single men than single women. Single males in Austin account for more than 22 percent of the population, and the majority of the Austin population is in their 20s. Because cougars often prefer men who are 15 or more years younger than they are, this makes Austin the perfect location for a recent divorcee to get dolled up, go out on the town for some entertainment and hopefully snag the attention of a strapping young lad.

2. Boulder, Colo.

About Boulder: Boulder is the home of the University of Colorado, the state’s largest university. Nestled between the Rocky Mountains and the Great Plains, Boulder is an outdoor lover’s dream with plenty of recreational open space, and ample opportunities for hiking, biking, running, and rock climbing.

Why Boulder is a Cougar Town: Boulder is considered to be a town full of power singles: well-educated, high-income urban singles. The median age in Boulder is 33, and males outnumber females by 6 percent. To keep up with higher-than-average living costs, many cougars are educated corporate executives. Most Boulder cougars are independent and are employed in middle-management professions. Younger professional males who seek out self-sufficient women and don’t waste time playing games will find plenty of eligible cougars in Boulder.

3. Nashville, Tenn.

About Nashville: It may be the Country Music Capital of the World, but downtown Nashville has an increasingly diverse assortment of things to do. Walk down Broadway and 2nd Avenue on a Saturday night, and you’ll find all kinds of entertainment venues, nightclubs and restaurants. Nashville was ranked by Expansion Management magazine as the number one most popular U.S. city for corporate relocations.

Why Nashville is a Cougar Town: Nashville has one of the highest numbers of plastic surgeons in the country. With 48 plastic surgeons in and around Nashville, there are 4.4 surgeons per 100,000 people. Most people in the city of Nashville have college educations and are employed in middle-management professions. There are many corporate professionals, which include high-income, high-spending urban single women. Many of these urban singles include recent divorcees in their 40s who can afford plastic surgery and are on the prowl.

4. Orlando, Fla.

About Orlando: Orlando is best known as one of the most visited cities among vacationers, but it is also a multicultural, urban city with various industries. Considered a major industrial and hi-tech center, metro Orlando is  internationally recognized as an innovation hub for digital media, agricultural technology, aviation, aerospace and software for more than 150 international companies.

Why Orlando is a Cougar Town: The population of Orlando includes many middle- to upper-income singles living in the suburbs. Many earn a comfortable income and own homes. Divorced females account for nearly 15 percent of the population, with the average age being 35. The women in Orlando come from diverse cultural backgrounds, making it an international cougar Mecca for younger single men who are interested in a worldly, well-rounded relationship.

5. San Diego, Calif.

About San Diego: San Diego is the second-largest city in California after Los Angeles. Rated the fifth best place to live in 2006 by “Money Magazine,” San Diego is the perfect town for sun worshipers, sports fans and bicycle-riders. Home to 70 miles of picturesque beaches, San Diego allows residents to experience mountains, the coast and the desert all in one day.

Why San Diego is a Cougar Town: According to members of Yelp.com, several bars in San Diego are cougar hangouts. Some of these bars have code names such as “The Cougar Den” or “The Cub Trap.” From mature military wives who like to let loose when their husbands are at sea to the restless widowed or divorced middle-aged women that still like to party, San Diego has acquired a reputation for attracting women who consider themselves cougars.

April Lentini writes for Apartment Guide in Detroit
Image: Irina Slutsky (flickr)

Image: Foxtongue (Flickr)

Are you are ready to live together?

When couples move in together, they see all aspects of each other’s lives – even the not-so-pretty side. If you have been on an extended trip with this person or have spent the night at his or her home more than a few times, then you probably have a better idea of how your boyfriend or girlfriend lives and the little habits that are bound to follow when you move in together. If you have never traveled with your partner or you have never spent the night (more than once in a row) with your partner, then you may want to hold off on your decision to live together.

Lifestyle

If you have been dating a while, chances are you have compatible lifestyles. But maybe there are some things that you haven’t thought about. Smokers and nonsmokers, for example, usually don’t live well together. He or she may have been doing a good job of keeping his or her smoking habit away from you up until now, but how do you think it’ll go if you live together? There are certain intricacies of your partner’s lifestyle that may surface only after you move in together. Is he as neat as you? Does she have a strange habit of leaving drinking glasses all over the apartment? If you like to go to bed early and wake up early, living with a night owl may not work out so well.

Bills

The one thing that many couples fight over the most is money. If you are searching for an apartment together, make sure that both names are on the lease. Also, agree in advance how the utility bills will be paid. Usually, couples living together for the first time feel that it is wise to keep their own checking accounts. Draw up a budget and make sure that you can both afford the place that you choose.  If one person is going to be responsible for paying the bills from his or her own account, the other should have a set due date of when to transfer his or her half of the bills every month.

Furniture

Who is keeping what and who will sell their stuff? If you are each coming from your own place, it may be time to consolidate. You may not have room for two sofas and two dining room sets. If you are lucky, there is usually one person who doesn’t mind getting rid of their cheap furnishings (it’s usually the guy) -especially if it’s their old college dorm furniture to begin with. But you may have to fight about some things. If your girlfriend, for example, is really attached to her pink lacey canopy bed and you want to keep your modern round bed from Ikea, you may have to bargain with her and even make some compromises. She may finally agree to your round bed, but no way is that black leather bachelor couch staying. This is just the beginning of your domestic existence. Make sure that you both collaborate on the furniture situation before moving in together.

Personal Space and Privacy

Each of you may be used to having your own personal space. If this is still important to you, make sure that your apartment accommodates those needs. Will a two-bedroom apartment be enough? Maybe a three-bedroom will better suit your need for space if you plan on having a home office or guest room. Having another room to escape to is handy if you are used to having control of the remote or want a quiet place to work or read while your other half watches TV. While it may seem petty, these things are worth considering before making the leap and living together.

Living together is a monumental step when you are in a serious relationship. If you think logically about the details before diving in, it may save you a lot of headaches.

April Lentini writes for ApartmentGuide.com in Philadelphia.

Have a clean apartment and get a baby sitter

While most guys could care less about candles and soft music, they do appreciate a clean house.  Pick up your things and make room for your guy to be a guy on Valentine’s Day. Doing his laundry for him would be taking it one step further –but only if you are already on that level of intimacy. If you have kids, get them out of your home. Better yet, arrange to have them spend the night at someone else’s house if possible. When transforming your apartment into a guy-friendly romantic escape, the focus should be entirely on your man.

Get dressed up (or down) and have dinner ready

Where do most men want to go on Valentine’s Day? Nowhere, that’s where. They’re tired. They worked all day and they probably had to stand in a long line at the grocery store buying you flowers and candy if they were not creative enough to get a custom valentine gift (but that’s another article). The last thing your man wants to do is wait an hour to be seated at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. So, dine in. Surprise him with the smell of his favorite meal cooking as he walks in the door. If you lack the talent for cooking, order in his favorite meal. Even if he made reservations somewhere, he will probably prefer to eat alone with you in that smoking outfit you’ll be wearing. Bow chica wow wow.

Succumb to Guy Activities

What do guys want to do on Valentine’s Day? Well, if you’ve been partners for a while, probably nothing. A MythBusters Marathon may be a married man’s idea of a hot date, so why fight it? On this one night, it won’t kill you to sit on the couch with him and appreciate his passion for explosives. If he likes to play video games, just go with it. Maybe he will suggest some risqué movies or games that will keep you both entertained. The point is this: you are making this his night to be pampered, so if he wants to vegetate in front of the TV, so be it. If he wants to tinker around in the basement or garage, strap on a tool belt and offer him a helping hand. For him, making an effort to take interest in his stuff may be more endearing and romantic than you think.

Many women see Valentine’s Day as an excuse to be pampered like a queen. Fair enough. However, if you are lucky enough to have a man that treats you like a queen (on most days), turning your home into a man cave for one night is not going to hurt you.

April Lentini is married and likes jewelry, chocolates and flowers. But she appreciates those things the most when they are unexpected –not on the commercial Valentine’s Day. April writes for ApartmentGuide in Chicago’s Greektown. (Image: CarbonNYC)

In what ways would you let your man be a man for Valentine’s Day?